Christmas Mood

Christmas is in the corner, yet you are so far away from me! Time has been cruel to the both of us, separating us and making our life so confused and complicated.

But dear one, we are soon going to reunite and this is the best feeling. Anticipation building up within and as a day is passed, the date of our reunion approaches. Thinking about the feel of your hugs, the soft caress of your hands around my waist! Oh how you swift me off my feet!

Long distance was the toughest thing for us, but if we are able to pass this test! Oh dear one, we can pass through anything in the future. 

I love you and the fact that you reciprocate this love is what matter the most!

Just a few more days... Till then my love!

See you soon :)

Merry Christmas to everyone out there! :D

XoC* Dreamisty

Cleaning & Packing

Clothes all over the place. Book all over the table. Boxes covering the whole entire room.


I guess this is IT.


I'm going to be leaving soon. Start a new life in a new environment. I mean it's not really a new environment. I'm finally going back to my father's hometown. 


I can't help but feel sad to leave my mother home. :'(


Anyways, this is not what i'll be thinking for the moment. I'm going to Stop thinking about this issue for the moment and enjoy every second I have left here. :)


After days of packing, it's still a huge mess in my room. It's like a hurricane just visited my room! :O


The fun part of cleaning & packing is that I actually found back all the things that I have lost like centuries ago *exaggerating  much* I'm actually having a treasure hunt session in my room. So much treasures have been dug out from my room, but then many of these treasures are being thrown into the "To Give" box. There is too much junks in my room. It was time I threw them.


The worse part of packing is to throw all the things that had a lot of sentimental feelings to you. I swear to you that I took a day or so to bid goodbye to certain of my clothes or even books. I just can't get rid of these sentimental feelings or connections I have towards my stuff :p


Well, letting go and moving on is hard. Once it's done, it becomes much easier. :)


I guess I have to go back to cleaning & packing once more, till then toodle-loo!

XoC* Dreamisty

P.S: I'm actually blogging facing a beautiful full moon. It's so refreshing! I will write once more, till then have a good summer day :)

My Fav Twilight Parts

"I waited for the numbness to return or the pain. Because the pain must be coming. I'd broken my personal rules. Instead of shying away from the memories; i'd walked forward and greeted them. I'd heard his voice, so clearly, in my head. That was going to cost me, I was sure of it. Especially if  I couldn't reclaim the haze to protect myself. I felt too alert, and that frightened me.


But relief was still the strongest emotion in my body- relief that came from the very core of my being.


As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worried late in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defenses- that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I couldn't think of them, but I must remember them.


Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to live- I had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure so long as he existed.


I lay in my bed a few minutes later, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance.


It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that confirmed to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inwards, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.


And yet, I found I couldn't survive. I was alert, I felt the pain- the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head but it was manageable. I could live through it. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that i'd grown strong enough to bear it.


Whatever it was that happened tonight- and whether it was zombies, the adrenaline, or the hallucination that were responsible- it had woken me up.


For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to expect in the morning."


- Full Moon, by Stephanie Meyer

XoC* Dreamisty

P.S: All the quotes have been mashed up together. These are all my favorite parts from the Twilight Saga's Book. It pretty much summed up how I felt during a certain time. I would say that Stephanie Meyer portrayed the feeling of being hurt using her words perfectly! =)

Favorite Paragraphs & Quotes

When I was much younger, I used to like reading "Twilight". Back then, I loved to read melodramatic stories. It was the first book and I fell in love with "Vampire" stories.


Today I cleared my room and guess what I found? A paper filled with quotes and paragraphs from the Twilight Sagas. :)


Since i'm gonna throw this paper, why not keep it in my blog so I can remember what I used to love reading. So here goes the Quotes & Paragraphs. =)




"I felt like i was trapped in one of those terrifying nightmares, the ones where you have to run, run till your lung burst, but you can't make your body move fast enough. My legs seemed to move slower and slower as I fought my way through the callous crowd, but the hands of the huge clock tower didn't chow. With relentless, unceasing force, they turned inexorably toward the end- the end of everything.


       But this was no dream, and, unlike the nightmare, I wasn't running for my life; I was racing to save something infinitely more precious. My own life meant little to me today." - Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer.

XoC* Dreamisty

P.S: There are so much more to come, but let's separate the texts in different pages :)

Goodbyes

The hardest thing to say is "Goodbye"


No one likes goodbyes. 
The tears, the heart aches, the depression, the separation.
Moving around the place is a great thing for the future, but to bid goodbye, it's heart aching!


A home with friends that are as close as a family.
People i've met from all over the place in these small little towns. 
The ones that would help me whenever i'm in need of a helping hand.


And most of all, YOU!
Finally I found that one thing that I have been searching for a long time.
This special thing we have is irreplaceable.


I can't make promises that I might break.
I can't reassure you 100% the things that we hope for will come true.
I will fight for this special connection we have.
I won't give up that easily.


You gave me the one thing that many couldn't give.
You treat me like a Princess.
You make me feel perfect when I'm full of flaws.


Soon, my dear, i'm leaving.
But My dear beloved, I <3 you for the present moment.


Albeit the short moment we are only able to spend time together,
We will continue to grow stronger with this separation.


Thank you for your heart. 
I will guard it with me with caution, care and tenderness. 

XoC* Dreamisty

P.S: I haven't been writing or blogging for a while now thus whatever i wrote is not gonna be good. My apologies! :(

Life is just that Simple

Life is simple.

Letters, numerical values, unknowns;

Why make it into an equation?

Sing your heart out,

Spread your arms out,

Feel the breeze kiss your cheeks.

Smile when you're happy,

Cry when you're sad,

Scream when you're frustrated,

Vent when you're mad!

Dramas are troublesome,

Fairytales are deception,

Stories are short-lived. 

Holding back is an act of cowardice,

Resignation is foolishness,

Despair is a deficiency.

Why make it complex?

Life is not always a stumbling stone.

Why not just sing the happy song?

Sing "la la la" and forget malaise. 

XoC* Dreamisty

P.S: My thoughts are all over the place. Whatever I wrote above may not appear logical or may seem completely out of sense. I do apologize! :)

Wrong timing

Imagine jogging on a simple path, with nothing on each side of the road. Everyday, it was the same thing. This guy just jogs past you at this particular moment. He may not be the cutest guy or the most attractive person, but there was something about him that you just can't quite noticing.


Looking at him jog past you was a horrible hobby. Slowly, a feeling was developped. At first it was just a simple admiration, and then it grew to adoration; further on, it grew into a crush. Just like a stalker, you kept noticing his every moves and learnt more about him through his actions. The way he runs, the way his hair flicks over his eyes from time to time. Even the slightest detail you savour upon it, like what shoes he would wear on which day, and the clothes he would match with it.


Nothing escapes your eye.


One day, it just so happens, you tripped and he happened to past by. It was an embarassing mistake but then it just happened. In a blink of an eye, you just fell flat on your face. Wishing that the ground would swallow you up, you just stayed flat on the ground waiting for him to just pass by. BUT what do you know, he actually stopped to help you back on your feet.


It was just a small gesture, but it swept you off the ground. Ever since that day, you would say hi to each other. Soon the both of you became friends. It was just that moment and it created a friendship that you never expected. However, just when everything falls in place, you realised that he has a girlfriend. Everything just crashed back down at you.


Why? Just why must he have a girlfriend?


He was perfect. Everything about him was ideal just like in those movies. He was a perfect gentlemen. Everything he did gave tiny hints and increased your expectation. It was cruel, fate was cruel! All this feeling you had grew as time past, but now you had to throw it all away and go back to square one.


Your heart ached in that tiny chest cavity of yours. Everday was a torment to your heart. Voice of irrational feelings just kept making you think of numerous "What If". What if he actually liked you? What if he had a slight feeling for you? What if...

Was it right for you to keep waiting and hoping? Is this the right thing for you to do?

XoC* Dreamisty

Ray of Light

I spread my hands out, hoping to see the ten familiar little fingers, but in vain. All I see is the sea of blackness. 

What happened? Why is it so dark? It wasn't this way before. Everything was like rainbow colors, sparkling and shinning around me. It was full of life, not like this listless life i'm living. I could hear the sweet and soft melodies singing in harmony, but now? The only thing I hear is a silence that slowly grows deep into my bone. Sometimes, I could imagine hearing the raucous voices of a herd of large perching bird with mostly glossy black plumage and a heavy bill. 

It's misty, dark and humid! The screeching sound of my footsteps echoes through every corner. Or was there any boundaries to this place i'm stuck in? I'm completely lost. There's isn't any hint or specks of light in this horrible place. 

Lost? Lost! LOST! I can't keep on moving forward. I wanted to stay put and just give up on everything, but why can't I? What is this push that oblige me to move. There is no path in front of me. I'm frightened by this silence and this eerie darkness. I want to go home. 

Where's that ray of light when I needed it? Where's that comforting hug of yours when I needed it the most? Where's that familiar hand that used to pull me out of my deepest nightmare? 

Sitting with my arms wrapped around my cold legs. Waiting with fear and tears in my eyes. Emotions kept in a bottle, waiting for the right moment to spill out. I never knew today has finally arrived where I have come to realize how much I needed you. 

I need and miss you! Please find and bring me back to the real world. Love me like you used to. Show me that ray of light that guided me through out my life. 

Cherish me like there is no more tomorrow.

XoC* Dreamisty

P.S: There are times where darkest thoughts and feelings just appear. Best not to keep it, but instead just write it out. ;)

Time to speak up

BlaFAFAFFAFAFFAPAPAPPA.

Time for me to speak up now.
It's been too long since I last wrote.
When was it??!!  Oh Crapt, since January!
Since exams are over and i'm currently working part time, I should probably just write whatever I want to let go my stress. Actually wait up a sec! In two weeks I have another EXAM!!! ah Crap! I just absolutely dislike exams, but what to do. It's the only way to kow whether we actually understood what we read instead of just scanning through the whole book. Which is normally my case.  ;D

As we all know, a blog spot is just a perfect place to write out your thoughts. Right?!
Anyways, it's been a while since I last spoke crapt and complete nonsense, so i'm just gonna let it all out here. Good Idea, don't you think?

qwnkjhfkgsdkfhvjbfsefsefsdf. There you go. Do you get it? No?! oh well, it's my special language. ;p
It's only for me to know and you to find out. So, just leave a comment when you read this, please? Tell me something random and I might just find an inspiration to write about in my next post.
*But if you think i'm sort of nuts. Just know that boredom has caused this sickness. I'm absolutely serious!* xD hahahahhahahaha

I appreciate you for reading this piece of nonsense *Winks

*XoC* Muah~ 
Dreamisty

Welcome to my thoughts

     You can sometimes see me from a distant or right in front of you, you can sometimes fell me gently touching your tender skin. However, often I eahr your silent curse, wishing me to vanish as if I am a nuissance in your life. I've always wondered why do you hate me so much?  All I have been doing is harmless yet vital to your being?

       The plants and flower thank me daily for contributing to sustain their life yet you complainmy existent. Everyday i see you torment yourself with your busy life, walking around in paces listlessly. Have you ever considered to stop for a second, thanking nature for it's well being?

       No?! Instead you thank nature by feeding it with toxic substance. Even I have fallen sick. When i'm, I get all grumpy and cruel. I have even murdered all the poor innocent aquatic friends. Never would I hope to be a murderer but all these toxic gas have made me insane and out of control. You call me a monster for destroying your marvelled limestone Monuments. Who is it to be blamed????

        I'm sorry that sometimes I cause disaster such as floods and typhoons, but these are unintentional. it's just like when you women have periods. Can you control your periods? Despite my efforts to make amend, all my hardworks are in vain. What should I do to make you take heed of my existent? Accept me for who I am. Look on the bright side where I sooth your upset, depressed and lost soul. I try to reach out to you, to comfort and calm you when there were no other shoulders to lean on. I even cleanse the dark, sinful and negative vibes dancing around you constantly.


       It is not in my nature to brag but i'm doing sofor you to know me better and appreciate my well-being. I'm of such importance that without me, the so-called Water Cycle wouldn't co-exist and Life wouldn;t survive this at any stake. you, yourslef wouldn't be able to survive any longer and your existence would just dissapear into thin air. this might be exagerating; but if the water cycle is broken, how would you survive?

      A coin has two sides, this I perfectly AGREED! However, should one enjoy the benefits one gives and live their lives to the fullest. Shouldn't you accept me for who ia am and the benefits I bring upon?

     I've been babbling for the entire time. Being such a rude person, I haven't mention who I am. My name is Rain. This story I share among you is a hope that one day you'll approve me and greet me with a sweet smile whenever I visit you.

*XoC* Biggest Regards from Rain.

Laziness is just my weakness :)

It's been a while since i last wrote. Frankly, I would just make a lot of bull-poopie, saying that, "hey, i'm sorry I haven't wrote because I was busy lately with everything happening around me". But the truth is that-- I just cut the whole crapt-- "I am LAZY". Just this three words sums up all the lies I've been telling myself and to the others.

Yes, Laziness. That's my weakness, for me it's the so-called "sickness", since young. Hey, everyone can be lazy. Honestly, I wish I never had this so-called "sickness". It's just horrible in words that I can't explain.

Remember when I was young, my mum always say, "Find something to do instead of sulking there like dead fish. Change that laziness of yours and start cracking. Do something that is more meaningful in life. If you continue to be lazy like this, you would never be able to overcome this weakness of yours when you're grown up."

Back, then i was just 12. You know how it's like to be a child of that young of age. Always rebelling, always quarelling and always arguing. When I think about it now, like 6 years later, she was right about the fact that,  It's hard to overcome this weakness when you grow up. It's as though it's a part  of you now, and you can amend it easily.

As the old people say, "It's easy to learn the bad ways, but to make amend for a better way, it takes years.". I do regret it.

So i've been thinking, maybe this years resolution for me (yes, it's a bit late. But it's better late than never.) is to be more active and less lazy. Try to be more outgoing and fun, instead of staying in my dreamy land of thoughts. Overcoming this "sickness" of mine might be hard, but i'll find my determination and fight it with all my strength and might. ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! May all the resolutions made be a great success. And the most important is to be happy in life. ;D

XoC* Dreamisty

brokedown!!

Have you ever felt that everything inside of you would come right back at you again? Everything you tried to hide just appears at the surface without notice. Or tear just rushing down your cheeks till you know that you’re actually crying? Have you felt that? Ever?? At least once??

Well, I have! To tell you the truth it hurts! It sucks and I hate it, BADLY!!! It hurts so bad that I seriously could tear of my heart, wishing that I could stop to feel anything. Happiness??! What is that? Simply BULL SHIT! It always comes with a cost. A cost of what? Always getting hurt, always stressed about something, never knowing what or which way I choose is the correct one. Constantly thinking, whether I made a great decision or just one of those stupid mistakes I’ve done. Wondering, if I do this thing, then I’ll end up like this way, or if I do that way and I’ll end up that way. Grr.. Why so complicated! Is it even worth it?

Now, honestly, I’ll say “hell NO, it doesn’t worth a damn!” =(, but later on I would probably say, “Yeah it’s worth something” =). Happiness always happens like in a short period of time just like a simple picture in that lonely little picture frame. It’s precious alright but did you know what’s behind that smile or laugh or during that time? Honestly, how long did you have to go through the “whatever” to get just that tiny little smile on that freakingly cute and happy picture? Every picture seems full of joy, but who knows how painful and tiring the person had to go through to capture these short happiness. It’s so damn STRENOUS that sometimes I really wonder “why should we do this? For your LOVE ones? For LOVE? For that 5 seconds joyfulness?” DANG! What a waste! How demanding!

Happiness... Yeah I know how that felt just like love. It’s like flying in the cloud in that endless limit sky and that sweet little feeling inside that makes you crave for more. Love.. It’s one part of this happiness, just a more dangerous and serious one! That little butterfly feeling in your stomach each time you see him or her or that rushing thumping of your heart that never rest, even when you’re thinking about the one you love. It’s a great feeling, makes you feel like a whole new world on your own, just you and him/her; but in the end it always end up as a no- happily ever after ending. You’ll end up getting hurt and shutting your mind and heart on love and happiness. Still the freaking same thing!

My first blog

This is the first blog I'm going to write. Apparently, i don't know how to write a good blog, so instead I'll write something a bit different. I'll write a song lyrics.

This lyric I'm gonna write is my own lyrics. Hope you'll enjoy it and please do comment so i can correct it, so it would be better. Thanks, enjoy =)

"Never Given"

verse1:

I don't mind

to love you
I don't mind
to let you in my heart

verse2:

And I know that

you'll break my heart

But I don't really

mind at all

Because...

*chorus:

Everytime i fall inlove

I'll end up falling inlove

with someone

That won't love me

That is wrong for me

Everytime I fall inlove

I'll end up crying in my room

And I will
call my best friends
And tell them how I
feel for you

verse3:

I know that

You are leaving soon

But even so I have fallen

For you deeply

verse4:

And you are stuck

imprinted in my heart

But I know for sure

I'm gonna get hurt once more

*Chorus:

Everytime I fall inlove

I'll end up falling inlove

with someone
That won't love me
That is wrong for me

Everytime I fall inlove

I'll end up crying in my room

And I will

Call my best friends

And tell them how I

feel for you

Bridge:

I love you

but I'll deny it

This love is never

given at all

I'll hide it

so you'll be clueless

But I hope that you'll

eventually find out

*Chorus

Everytime I fall inlove

I'll end up falling inlove

with someone

That won't love me

That is wrong for me

This time i have fallen inlove

And I'm crying in my room

But I know

That this is for the best
And I won't regret

This time I've fallen for you
This love which is never given
I really hope
That you'll know
I want to let you know
That i like you